I decided that since I had a free moment that I would do my 38 week update about me pregnancy.
Oh baby girl have you put me through a roller coaster this week. You are trying so badly to get here, but not bad enough to put me into actual labor. The end result is one tired, hurting and cranky mama. Your poor daddy and brother. Daddy says you are just training me and getting me ready for newborn mode. I appreciate this. I do. It is the constant pain that I seem to be in all the time.
I am starting to yearn not to be pregnant anymore. Something that I vowed to never be like. I should be so grateful for such a wonderful opportunity. I am, but I am also done. I am so glad to know that you are now full term. No more of me wigging out about going to into labor early, and having major complications. Now I just have to worry about making sure you keep on squirming and moving around.
The official due date is about 8 days away. That is not including today. I am so anxious to see what and who you look like. Meet your sweet personality and just snuggle my precious newborn. Your daddy is constantly telling me how excited he is for a new baby in the house. One thing that I dearly love about that man is that he loves told hold snuggle and kiss his babies just as much as I do. We used to fight to old little Hayden. Sometimes we still do. We can't help it. We love our sweet children.
Everything is completely ready for your arrival. I packed the hospital bag earlier this week. I did this actually because I thought I was in labor. I wasn't. It is nice to know though that for the most part we can just get out the door to the hospital and leave when we need too.
In some ways I am grateful you haven't arrived. Our house has been full of sickies. Your daddy got sick with a nasty cold. Hayden got a terrible stomach bug, and is now just getting your daddy's nasty cold. We want a healthy house for your arrival. I am also as much as I hate to admit it scared by your arrival. My world is going to be flipped upside down. I am scared to be a mama a two children. I am scared to have to juggle and make sure to spend equal amounts of time with my babies. I am scared of Hayden getting jealous, and feeling like he isn't loved any more. There are so many things that I fear with your arrival.
I share my fears in hope that maybe one day you will take comfort when you have your own babies that it isn't just you who has fears of taking care of an innocent life. It is nerve wracking! The thought of having to teach you your ABC's, how to be a good person when I feel myself feel that I have much to do before I become a good person. It is all a little overwhelming.
My wants definitely overcome my fears though. I am so blessed to have a sweet little boy, and a precious little girl entering my life. How picturesque and perfect is that? I am so excited to see and hold your sweet hands. Watch your little brother hold and kiss your perfect little body. Watch you grow and teach you how to sit, stand, crawl and walk. Above all I am just excited to have my two precious babes finally together.
Here is to 8 more days of being a mama of one child. I need to spend as much time relaxing and playing with Hayden as possible! It could even be less. We are so excited to meet you sweet girl. Your brother asks multiple times a day if you are sleeping or moving. He is constantly telling you to wake up. He kisses my tummy all the time. You are already so loved and cherished. I can't imagine the smothering you are going to receive once you are here.
Be patient with us when you get here. It has been a while since we have had a newborn in the house. We are definitely trying. We love you sweet girl. Until we meet.... PLEASE let it be this week!
Love,
your mama
No comments:
Post a Comment